The less starry and more cloudy Night

 

The less starry and more cloudy Night

The timekeeper showed 2 a.m. I was sitting on a chair in the veranda and gazing at the dark, less starry and more cloudy sky. I realized the movies have romanticized the night sky too much. They say that a night sky without a moon, lots of stars and a love of your life by your side is not a beautiful one. But, this night changed my views. There were not many stars and neither the moon was visible distinctly, still it was alluring. I didn't have my one and only sitting beside me and gazing at the moon, instead I had my sister with me, and we were both quietly listening to the sounds which we were taking no notice of, since how long, even we didn't know. I realized the night sky needs not to be romantic always, it can be peaceful too as it is today.

I looked at the roads, there wasn't any human or even a dog which was visible except the two of us. Still, the place was filled with a cold but gentle wind and lots and lots of silence. The silence which was helping me pay attention to the chaos inside me.

It was a complete dark night, there were no street lights except the one blinking at some distance. It was a complete horror movie set-up but the only difference was that the fear was not because of the wraith, instead it was because of my own thoughts. As the reason was not the wraith, so I kept sitting there and gazing at the sky.

There was a door in front of me which looked like a jail gate and was locked. The key was kept there but was not visible, due to the absence of light. The door was the connecting link to a wider open space with a bit more light. I wanted to go there but concurrently I didn't want to budge an inch from my place. A fear was holding me back. Fear of what, I don't know. It felt like I lacked the audacity and strength to take up the key and open the door. I wanted to be in the light but the urge to do so was missing or maybe I was getting used to the dark. There was pin drop silence everywhere, still a lot of noise inside me. I could hear all those words which I left unsaid. My soul was struggling to breathe but the body got enough of the oxygen. It was the first time I realized my body was suffocating my inner being.

I had two choices in front of me. Either I could keep sitting in my place or I can get up, pick up the key and open the door. Both the choices were arduous. We cannot have everything at the same time in life, so we choose to be where we can make the most out of it, so I chose to sit quietly and wondered what it would be like being in the light. Was it all about the grill or was it something else?